Quote

I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Pleasure
Intellect
Crooked
Think
Balls
Fairly
Thinking
Lows
Hitting
Draws
Stick
Following
Humorous
Activity
Ball
Walking
Sticks
Takes
Draw

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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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Life is not that complicated.
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I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
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I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.
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It was the typical paranoid experience [to hide coke]. As soon as I knew my hiding place, I thought the whole world knew it. I'd write clues to my hiding places in code, then forget the code and spend the rest of the day looking for my coke.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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