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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Cooks
Bother
Humorous
Saying
Actually
Stuff
People
Sewage
Cook
More quotes by George Carlin
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
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Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
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I was a hip kid. When I saw Bambi it was the midnight show.
George Carlin
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
George Carlin
We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.
George Carlin
Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
George Carlin
