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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Sewage
Cook
Cooks
Bother
Humorous
Saying
Actually
Stuff

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Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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Lenny Bruce genius was the unique ability to investigate hypocrisy and expose social inequities in a street rap that was really a form of poetry.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
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