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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Actually
Stuff
People
Sewage
Cook
Cooks
Bother
Humorous
Saying
More quotes by George Carlin
When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin
I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.
George Carlin
To my surprise, my marijuana use has been tapering off steadily.
George Carlin
What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
George Carlin
It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
George Carlin
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George Carlin
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
George Carlin
The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
George Carlin
