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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Belief
Humans
Come
Believe
Believing
Humorous
Concerned
Worth

More quotes by George Carlin

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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
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