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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Believing
Humorous
Concerned
Worth
Belief
Humans
Come
Believe

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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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hard work is a misleading term. physical effort & long hours do not constitute hard work. hard work is when someone pays you to do something you'd rather not be doing. anytime you'd rather be doing something other than the thing you're doing...you're doing hard work.
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Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
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People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
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Hooray for most things!
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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
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So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
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