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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Believing
Humorous
Concerned
Worth
Belief
Humans
Come
Believe
More quotes by George Carlin
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
George Carlin
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
George Carlin
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
George Carlin
Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
George Carlin
It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
George Carlin
You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
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How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.
George Carlin
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
George Carlin
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin
