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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Believe
Believing
Humorous
Concerned
Worth
Belief
Humans
Come

More quotes by George Carlin

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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
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Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!
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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.
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