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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Humorous
Concerned
Worth
Belief
Humans
Come
Believe
Believing

More quotes by George Carlin

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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
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In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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