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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Everyone
Easy
Doe
Reason
Everest
Hard
Climbing
Humorous
Side
Sides

More quotes by George Carlin

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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
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If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
George Carlin
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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