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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
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Sides
Everyone
Easy
Doe
Reason
Everest
Hard
Climbing
Humorous
More quotes by George Carlin
Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
George Carlin
The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard
George Carlin
Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
George Carlin
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
George Carlin
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
George Carlin
Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
George Carlin
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
George Carlin
I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
George Carlin
A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
