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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Side
Sides
Everyone
Easy
Doe
Reason
Everest
Hard
Climbing
Humorous

More quotes by George Carlin

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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
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If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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And speaking of sex, the Immaculate Conception does not mean Jesus was conceived in the absence of sex. It means Mary was conceived without Original Sin. That's all it has ever meant. And according to the tabloids, Mary is apparently the only one who can make such a claim. The Jesus thing is called virgin birth.
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Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.
George Carlin
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
George Carlin
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
George Carlin
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
George Carlin
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
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I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
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Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?
George Carlin
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George Carlin
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
George Carlin
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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