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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Everyone
Easy
Doe
Reason
Everest
Hard
Climbing
Humorous
Side
Sides

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What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with them.
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
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Life is a series of dogs.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
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All the wrong things for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes people just want to feel different. And so long as Third World peasants are poor they will send us drugs, and as long as we are empty we will ask for this little plant.
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Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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