Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Thinking
Idea
Around
Ideas
Look
Might
Looks
Never
Think
Humorous
More quotes by George Carlin
Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.
George Carlin
Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
George Carlin
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
George Carlin
When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George Carlin
Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
George Carlin
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
George Carlin
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
George Carlin
I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
George Carlin
Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
George Carlin
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau but no one was there.
George Carlin
Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
George Carlin
There is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
George Carlin
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
George Carlin
Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
George Carlin
