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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Around
Ideas
Look
Might
Looks
Never
Think
Humorous
Thinking
Idea

More quotes by George Carlin

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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Pacifism is a nice idea but it can get you killed. We're not there yet. Evolution is slow, small pox is fast.
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
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One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
George Carlin
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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
George Carlin
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
George Carlin
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If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
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If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
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It's a keep your fingers crossed business, the entertainment business.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
George Carlin
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
George Carlin
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We kind of shape our truths as we speak them. We fashion things to suit the occasion or the person or our own needs in the moment.
George Carlin