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I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Dollars
Free
Book
Verse
Verses
Recently
Twelve
Bought
Humorous
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
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Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.
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Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.
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All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
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Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
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We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
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Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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Your home is your refuge.
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Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
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Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
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