Quote

Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Bird
Eyes
Eye
Peck
Song
Skies
Someone
Occasionally
Best
Humorous
Sky
Sing

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I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.
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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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The highly motivated people in society are the ones causing all the trouble. It's not the lazy unmotivated folks sitting in front of a TV eating potato chips who bother anyone.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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I think tobacco and alcohol warnings are too general. They should be more to the point: 'People who smoke will eventually cough up small pieces of lung.'... And 'Warning!! Alcohol will turn you into the same jerk your father was.'
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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