Quote

Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Best
Humorous
Sky
Sing
Bird
Eyes
Eye
Peck
Song
Skies
Someone
Occasionally

More quotes by George Carlin

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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.
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Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!
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Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
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We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
George Carlin
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
George Carlin
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Surround yourself with what you love.
George Carlin
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You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people. I do. I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get up past around... a minute, minute and a half, I gotta get the fuck out of there.
George Carlin