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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sky
Sing
Bird
Eyes
Eye
Peck
Song
Skies
Someone
Occasionally
Best
Humorous
More quotes by George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
George Carlin
If the reason for climbing Mt. Everest is that it's hard to do, why does everyone go up the easy side?
George Carlin
Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
George Carlin
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
George Carlin
Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
George Carlin
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
George Carlin
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
George Carlin
A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
George Carlin
You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
George Carlin
Does killing time damage eternity?
George Carlin
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin
They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
George Carlin
The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.
George Carlin
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
