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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Rains
Shrink
Shrinks
Sheep
Rain
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
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Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
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Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.
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We created god in our own image and likeness!
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The status quo sucks.
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Colosseum called the Caesarian Section.
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There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
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Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
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