Quote

There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Night
Permitting
Friday
Clever
Weather
Rain
Dance
Smart
Funny

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
George Carlin
Image
Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
George Carlin
Image
A pear is a failed apple.
George Carlin
Image
Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
George Carlin
Image
In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
George Carlin
Image
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
Image
There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.
George Carlin
Image
You're really spread out now, you've got stuff all over the WORLD! You've got stuff at home, stuff in storage, stuff in Honolulu, stuff in Maui, stuff in your pockets...supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain.
George Carlin
Image
Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.
George Carlin
Image
More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
George Carlin
Image
Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
George Carlin
Image
I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
George Carlin
Image
One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
George Carlin
Image
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
George Carlin
Image
I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
George Carlin
Image
People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.
George Carlin
Image
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
Image
The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
Image
By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
Image
I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
George Carlin