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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Night
Permitting
Friday
Clever
Weather
Rain
Dance
Smart
Funny

More quotes by George Carlin

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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
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Writing books isn't a drastic departure from writing for the stage.
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I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
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I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.
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If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
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Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
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Interesting form of murder we come up with: Assassination. We assassinate people who've told us to live together in harmony and try to love one another. Apparently we are not ready to live together.
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Golf is an arrogant, elitist game that takes up entirely too much space in this country.
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I, myself, have killed six people. All random, all undetected, no way to trace them to me. And, let me tell you, there's nothin' like it. It's a great feeling. Yeah, I know, you're thinking. 'Aw, he's a comedian. He's just sayin' that stuff.' Good. That's exactly what I want you to think.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
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The whole problem with this idea of obscenity and indecency, and all of these things - bad language and whatever - it's all caused by one basic thing, and that is: religious superstition.
George Carlin
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
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