Quote

Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Never
Life
Dogs
Dog
Lead
Nice

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius.
George Carlin
Image
The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.
George Carlin
Image
If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.
George Carlin
Image
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
Image
People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
George Carlin
Image
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
Image
I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
George Carlin
Image
If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
Image
Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
George Carlin
Image
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
George Carlin
Image
No comment is a comment.
George Carlin
Image
As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
George Carlin
Image
I couldn't commit suicide if my life depended on it.
George Carlin
Image
Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
George Carlin
Image
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
Image
Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere
George Carlin
Image
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
George Carlin
Image
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
George Carlin
Image
Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
Image
I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
George Carlin