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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Come
Love
Seagull
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Fire
Free
Someone
Back
More quotes by George Carlin
They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
George Carlin
If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
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A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loath and despise the groups they identify or belong to.
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Cancer research is a growth industry.
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Life is a zero sum game.
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
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I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
We think in language. The quality of our thoughts and ideas can only be as good as the quality of our language.
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The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin
Catholics are against abortions. Catholics are against homosexuals. But, I can't think of anyone who has less abortions than homosexuals!
George Carlin
