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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Love
Seagull
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Fire
Free
Someone
Back
Come

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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.
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Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
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Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
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If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
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I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.
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I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
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Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
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A pear is a failed apple.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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Does killing time damage eternity?
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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Hey! Who stole my collection of used bandages?! And they also got away with my nude pictures of Ernest Borgnine!
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I believe you can joke about anything.
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Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
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