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If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Love
Seagull
Sarcasm
Sarcastic
Fire
Free
Someone
Back
Come

More quotes by George Carlin

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Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
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Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
George Carlin
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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
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In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
George Carlin
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin
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I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
George Carlin
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
George Carlin
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Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
George Carlin
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Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
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At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.
George Carlin
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Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
George Carlin
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But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin