Quote

When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Time
False
Diseased
Majors
Exaggerated
Major
Awe
Claims
Bullshit
Promise
Promises
Stand
Champion
Religion
League
Comes
Atheist

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.
George Carlin
Image
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
George Carlin
Image
Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
George Carlin
Image
I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
George Carlin
Image
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
Image
My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
George Carlin
Image
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
George Carlin
Image
I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.
George Carlin
Image
The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
George Carlin
Image
I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.
George Carlin
Image
Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
Image
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
George Carlin
Image
I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
George Carlin
Image
Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
George Carlin
Image
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Image
What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
Image
The base of evil in the world is religion of any kind
George Carlin
Image
Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
George Carlin
Image
If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?
George Carlin
Image
Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin