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Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Convinced
Sky
Theist
Atheism
Diseased
Religious
Atheistic
Actually
Agnostic
Religion
Bullshit
Living
Atheist
Men
Invisible

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As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.
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There are women named Faith, Hope, Joy, and Prudence. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? It seems only right. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' These days, Trajedi.
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Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
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All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another
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As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
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Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.
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There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.
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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.
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I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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