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Life is a zero sum game.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stupid
Game
Games
Life
People
Zero

More quotes by George Carlin

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Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
George Carlin
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When you're born in this world you're given a ticket to the Freak Show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat. And some of us get to sit there with notebooks.
George Carlin
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The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
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Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking
George Carlin
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What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
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For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.
George Carlin
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
George Carlin
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I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
George Carlin
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
George Carlin
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
George Carlin
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
George Carlin
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I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
George Carlin
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All music is the blues. All of it.
George Carlin
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Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.
George Carlin
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Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
George Carlin
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I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
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If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin
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Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] Look, they nearly missed! Yes, but not quite.
George Carlin