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Hooray for most things!
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stupid
Things
People
Hooray
More quotes by George Carlin
Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin
I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.
George Carlin
A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner he killed everyone he came in contact with.
George Carlin
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
George Carlin
Irony deals with opposites it has nothing to do with coincidence.
George Carlin
If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
George Carlin
You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
George Carlin
All music is the blues. All of it.
George Carlin
I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
George Carlin
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
George Carlin
The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. Because you have the illusion of choice!
George Carlin
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
George Carlin
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
George Carlin
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
