Quote

Hooray for most things!

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Things
People
Hooray
Stupid

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
Image
They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
George Carlin
Image
The planet is fine. The people are f****d. Because everyone is trying to save the planet. The planet doesn’t need that. The planet will take care of itself. People are selfish. And that's what they're doing is trying to save the planet for themselves to have a nicer place to live.
George Carlin
Image
There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George Carlin
Image
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin
Image
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin
Image
How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
George Carlin
Image
We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all.
George Carlin
Image
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
Image
Traditional American values: Genocide, aggression, conformity, emotional repression, hypocrisy, and the worship of comfort and consumer goods.
George Carlin
Image
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
George Carlin
Image
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
George Carlin
Image
Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.
George Carlin
Image
Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
George Carlin
Image
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
George Carlin
Image
I hope I'm beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be...well, that's for others to judge.
George Carlin
Image
Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.
George Carlin
Image
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin
Image
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
George Carlin
Image
Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin