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Hooray for most things!

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Hooray
Stupid
Things
People

More quotes by George Carlin

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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
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If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
George Carlin
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I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.
George Carlin
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One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.
George Carlin
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There's a thing about cocaine - when I was doing it secretly, it didn't make me very sociable. I forget how others were, but it made me very inner-directed. So being in a sketch and rehearsing and the hail fellow well met camaraderie and all that stuff, I couldn't fake that or force that. It was painful.
George Carlin
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Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
George Carlin
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin
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The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
George Carlin
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
George Carlin
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
George Carlin
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
George Carlin
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Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George Carlin
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
George Carlin
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
George Carlin
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Know my feelings about traffic laws? Cop didn't see it? I didn't do it.
George Carlin
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin