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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Thinking
Mints
People
Sammy
Mint
Davis
Junior
Juniors
Stupid
Think
More quotes by George Carlin
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
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One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
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We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
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Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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Nothing rectifies out-of-control market failures like a healthy dose of government intervention and mountains of bureaucracy.
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Language always gives you away.
George Carlin
The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
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Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
George Carlin
The future will soon be a thing of the past.
George Carlin
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.
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The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
George Carlin
Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
George Carlin
I went to George Washington High School for six months before my 16th birthday, when I could legally quit. That was an even worse experience than the Catholic schools. I mean, they were still teaching fractions. But mostly, I played hooky.
George Carlin
If you love someone set them free. If they come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin