Quote

So far, this is the oldest I've been.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
People
Oldest
Humor
Stupid

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.
George Carlin
Image
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver.
George Carlin
Image
It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
George Carlin
Image
Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
George Carlin
Image
You take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
George Carlin
Image
I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
George Carlin
Image
I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
George Carlin
Image
If you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George Carlin
Image
By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
Image
Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
George Carlin
Image
How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
Image
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
Image
Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.
George Carlin
Image
Life is a series of dogs.
George Carlin
Image
Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it comes from one of my albums, books, HBO specials, or appeared on my website.
George Carlin
Image
I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George Carlin
Image
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
Image
Religion is like drugs, it destroys the thinking mind.
George Carlin
Image
I do something about the weather. I stay home.
George Carlin
Image
What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin