Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Feels
Okay
Time
Dying
People
Stupid
Probably
Actually
Moment
Moments
Feel
More quotes by George Carlin
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
George Carlin
I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
George Carlin
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!
George Carlin
I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
George Carlin
Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
George Carlin
Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.
George Carlin
I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
George Carlin
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
George Carlin
In Hawaii they say, aloha. That's a nice one, It means both hello and good-bye Which just goes to show, if you spend enough time in the sun you don't know whether you're coming or going.
George Carlin
The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George Carlin
No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.
George Carlin
Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
George Carlin
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
What year did Jesus think it was?
George Carlin
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
George Carlin
When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.
George Carlin
You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
George Carlin
I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
