Quote

Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Actually
Moment
Moments
Feel
Feels
Okay
Time
Dying
People
Stupid
Probably

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
If God didn't want you to masturbate, he would have given you short arms.
George Carlin
Image
There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.
George Carlin
Image
I think I am, therefore, I am... I think.
George Carlin
Image
One of the interesting things about outsidership is that underneath it there's a longing to belong. I just wish the thing I refused to belong to - the species, Western capital culture - was a little more respectable. My one true relaxation is my flotation tank, in which I can either meditate or just drift off.
George Carlin
Image
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George Carlin
Image
Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
George Carlin
Image
And, of course, the funniest food: kumquats. I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.
George Carlin
Image
There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.
George Carlin
Image
Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
George Carlin
Image
When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.
George Carlin
Image
I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.
George Carlin
Image
If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?
George Carlin
Image
In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
George Carlin
Image
The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.
George Carlin
Image
Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
George Carlin
Image
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George Carlin
Image
No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
George Carlin
Image
You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.
George Carlin
Image
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
George Carlin
Image
No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
George Carlin