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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Probably
Actually
Moment
Moments
Feel
Feels
Okay
Time
Dying
People
Stupid
More quotes by George Carlin
Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.
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I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it you have a choice.
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Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
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The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
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I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
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No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
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Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.
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Hooray for most things!
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I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.
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I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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