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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Feel
Feels
Okay
Time
Dying
People
Stupid
Probably
Actually
Moment
Moments

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Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.
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Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
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My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits. And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
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Personally, emotionally, I'd rather divorce myself from the world than face the heartbreak of partial success. Because partial success implies overwhelming failure.
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The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
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No comment is a comment.
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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.
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Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.
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There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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