Quote

No comment is a comment.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Comment
Humor
Stupid
Funny

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
Image
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
Image
Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
George Carlin
Image
Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
George Carlin
Image
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
Image
I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin
Image
Surround yourself with what you love.
George Carlin
Image
I think self-expression is present at all times, and whether or not you're talking about the outside world or your responses to it depends on the moment and the subject.
George Carlin
Image
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
Image
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!
George Carlin
Image
Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
George Carlin
Image
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
Image
I am not a complete vegetarian. I eat only animals that have died in their sleep.
George Carlin
Image
Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.
George Carlin
Image
So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
George Carlin
Image
How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
George Carlin
Image
To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
George Carlin
Image
President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
Image
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
George Carlin
Image
Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
George Carlin