Quote

Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Thinking
Hang
People
Somewhere
Stupid
Ready
Guy
Read
Right
Think
Gettin

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.
George Carlin
Image
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
George Carlin
Image
In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
George Carlin
Image
What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
Image
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
George Carlin
Image
I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
George Carlin
Image
Tits always look better in a pink sweater.
George Carlin
Image
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
George Carlin
Image
We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.
George Carlin
Image
I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.
George Carlin
Image
You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
George Carlin
Image
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
Image
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
Image
I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
George Carlin
Image
I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .
George Carlin
Image
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
George Carlin
Image
By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
George Carlin
Image
Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
George Carlin
Image
Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?
George Carlin
Image
How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies.
George Carlin