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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Funny
Form
People
Sophisticated
Hockey
Boxing
Humor
Stupid

More quotes by George Carlin

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By the next one [albom],Occupation: Foole, I was right back into the trip again. I'm more frantic, more breathless. You can hear how sick I am. If you want to see a cokehead, just look at the pictures on the Occupation: Foole album.
George Carlin
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
George Carlin
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It's depressing to see blacks wanting to dive into the mainstream of American commercial life. They come from a magnificent African culture based on aesthetics, and they all want to become fort builders like the vicious people who originally enslaved them.
George Carlin
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Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life.
George Carlin
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A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.
George Carlin
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When you think about it, attention-deficit order makes a lot of sense. In this country there isn't a lot worth paying attention to.
George Carlin
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Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!
George Carlin
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When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
George Carlin
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The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.
George Carlin
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I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
George Carlin
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
George Carlin
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What do dogs do on their day off? Can't lie around – that's their job!
George Carlin
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
George Carlin
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
George Carlin
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
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I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.
George Carlin
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
George Carlin
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When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
George Carlin