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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Boxing
Humor
Stupid
Funny
Form
People
Sophisticated
Hockey
More quotes by George Carlin
How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George Carlin
We created god in our own image and likeness!
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy.
George Carlin
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
George Carlin
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin
Fussy eater is a euphemism for big pain in the ass.
George Carlin
There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.
George Carlin
Your home is your refuge.
George Carlin
Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
George Carlin
The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George Carlin
We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.
George Carlin
People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
George Carlin
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
George Carlin
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
Some people think that words can injure the psyche or the moral fiber. And they really can't.
George Carlin
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin