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Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Sophisticated
Hockey
Boxing
Humor
Stupid
Funny
Form

More quotes by George Carlin

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By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
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They're only words. You can't be afraid of words that speak the truth, even if it's an unpleasant truth.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.
George Carlin
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Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
George Carlin
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A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
George Carlin
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If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.
George Carlin
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
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I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be Governor Bush. I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.
George Carlin
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How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
George Carlin
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Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.
George Carlin
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If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
George Carlin
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Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
George Carlin
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Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
George Carlin
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Language always gives you away.
George Carlin
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The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.
George Carlin