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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Dies
Death
Owns
Anything
Theft
People
Stays
Suicide
Property
Nobody
Stupid
More quotes by George Carlin
If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? Would you like some breadsticks? No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll.
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Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
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I just try to find targets I feel something about and express it my way.
George Carlin
Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.
George Carlin
The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
George Carlin
The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.
George Carlin
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George Carlin
Every day I break my own personal record for number of days I have been alive.
George Carlin
Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
George Carlin
Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?
George Carlin
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
George Carlin
We created god in our own image and likeness!
George Carlin
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
George Carlin
That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.
George Carlin
Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.
George Carlin
Christian Deodorant: Thou Shalt Not Smell
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Personally, when it comes to rights, I think one of two things is true. I think either we have unlimited rights, or we have no rights at all. Personally I lean towards unlimited rights, I feel for instance I have the right to do anything I please, BUT! If I do something you don't like I think you have the right to kill me.
George Carlin
I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.
George Carlin
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
George Carlin
Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
George Carlin
