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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stupid
Dies
Death
Owns
Anything
Theft
People
Stays
Suicide
Property
Nobody
More quotes by George Carlin
There are actually people who go out and re-fight these battles. You know what I say? Use real ammunition! You just might raise the intelligence level of the American gene pool!
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Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.
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I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.
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Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
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One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.
George Carlin
The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.
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Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
George Carlin
The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it
George Carlin
We think in language. We think in words. Language is the landscape of thought.
George Carlin
You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
We created god in our own image and likeness!
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Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to pare compare clothing.
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
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Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.
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The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
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What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
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When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
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Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George Carlin
The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
George Carlin
