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Property is theft. Nobody owns anything. When you die, it all stays here.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stupid
Dies
Death
Owns
Anything
Theft
People
Stays
Suicide
Property
Nobody
More quotes by George Carlin
If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.
George Carlin
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
George Carlin
A pear is a failed apple.
George Carlin
I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
George Carlin
I like Florida. Everything is in the 80s. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
George Carlin
I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
George Carlin
It is impossible for an abortion clinic to have a waiting list of more than nine months.
George Carlin
If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
George Carlin
Sex always has consequences. When Hitler's mother spread her legs that night, she effectively canceled out the spreading of fifteen to twenty million other pairs of legs.
George Carlin
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
Rhetoric paints with a broad brush.
George Carlin
Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.
George Carlin
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin
Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.
George Carlin
Broadway isn't a very big career move. There's no money in it and it doesn't mean anything to your career. It's just a nice little jewel in the crown.
George Carlin
What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George Carlin
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.
George Carlin
Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards
George Carlin
I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
