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No one who has had Taps played for them has ever been able to hear it.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
People
Taps
Played
Stupid
Hear
Able
Ever

More quotes by George Carlin

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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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Why do they bother with a suicide watch when someone is on death row? Keep an eye on this guy. We're gonna kill him, and we don't want him to hurt himself.
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If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.
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I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.
George Carlin
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.
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Everyone smiles in the same language.
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.
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Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.
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When you quit school at an early age, I think you have a lifelong need to show the world - and maybe yourself - that you're really smart after all.
George Carlin
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Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!
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Life is a series of dogs.
George Carlin
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
George Carlin
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I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George Carlin