Quote

One thing leads to another? Not always. Sometimes one thing leads to the same thing. Ask an addict.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stupid
Asks
Another
Sometimes
Thing
Always
Addict
People
Leads
Genuine

More quotes by George Carlin

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I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.
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I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.
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I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.
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My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.
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There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.
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Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.
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People always tell me Have a nice day. Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
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They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them!
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I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.
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Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.
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You never see a smiling runner.
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There are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
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There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink a quart of whiskey a day.
George Carlin