Quote

Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sign
Stupid
Times
People
Autographs
Faster

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.
George Carlin
Image
The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.
George Carlin
Image
Writing is really wonderful art. A lot of this is discovery. A lot of things are lying around waiting to be discovered and that's our job as writers is to just notice them and bring them to life.
George Carlin
Image
Everyone smiles in the same language.
George Carlin
Image
Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
George Carlin
Image
The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
George Carlin
Image
Life is tough, then you die.
George Carlin
Image
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
George Carlin
Image
When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
George Carlin
Image
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
George Carlin
Image
I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George Carlin
Image
If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
George Carlin
Image
I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George Carlin
Image
To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
George Carlin
Image
I believe you can joke about anything.
George Carlin
Image
When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?
George Carlin
Image
I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.
George Carlin
Image
It is said that Indians were sometimes named for the first thing they saw when they were born. Makes you wonder why there aren't more Indians named Hairy Pussy, doesn't it?
George Carlin
Image
I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.
George Carlin
Image
I don't have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. I think that speaks for itself. The less said about it the better.
George Carlin