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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Doors
Stupid
Playing
Comedy
Pinball
Movie
Described
Next
Romantic
Find
Door
People
Usually
More quotes by George Carlin
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.
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I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.
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You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.
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Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
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I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?
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People say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
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I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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In the 'bullshit department' a businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? Are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen that we passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we're better than chickens. See, nobody can do it! You know why? 'Cause chickens are decent people.
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No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It's very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open.
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The rebellious mood of the country during those [60th] years allowed me to plug right back into my old hatreds. I could scream and holler, as I did on the albums, against religion, government, big business - all those assholes and their values. That hatred was very real.
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When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.
George Carlin
The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.
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How is it possible to have a civil war?
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
George Carlin
