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If a movie is described as a romantic comedy, you can usually find me next door playing pinball.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stupid
Playing
Comedy
Pinball
Movie
Described
Next
Romantic
Find
Door
People
Usually
Doors

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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.
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One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.
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I say things that can be defined as prayers. But I don't pray to a power or ask an entity to intercede in the earthly scheme, because I don't believe that happens. But if I see a really unfortunate person in the street, I do pray, yes, though I suppose it's really more like a mantra to ease my own sorrow.
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I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.
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The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.
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If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? Why is 'phonics' not spelled the way it sounds? How come abbreviated is such a long word?
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More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
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No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
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If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.
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I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.
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It's difficult enough for a young person to put his soul on the line in front of a lot of drunken people without having that hanging over his head, too.
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If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
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I always wanted and enjoyed sex, but I never put much importance on scoring or having an athletic sex life. I guess I define myself more by my career and my commitment to a relationship than by my ability to have a lot of chicks or achieve ten orgasms in an evening.
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