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If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Uniforms
Worthless
Endeavor
Requires
Stupid
People
Uniform

More quotes by George Carlin

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I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.
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In terms of coke, the only money I ever thought about was that dollar bill I had stuck up my nose.
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I believe my first duty is to survive. And I'm not just talking about criminals coming into my home. I once seriously considered getting a gun to protect myself from the police. If I need a weapon to continue living, I'll get one. And I'll use it.
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Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
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One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.
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Don't confuse my point of view with cynicism. The real cynics are the ones who tell you that everything's gonna be all right.
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I don't have hobbies hobbies cost money. Interests are quite free.
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Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
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Did you ever look at your watch, and you look away... and you don't know what time it is?
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Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
George Carlin
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You never see a smiling runner.
George Carlin
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It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.
George Carlin
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War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.
George Carlin
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
George Carlin
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
George Carlin
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I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no I in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality and integrity.
George Carlin
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People who ask Can I ask you a question? Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
George Carlin
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Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car.
George Carlin
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President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.
George Carlin
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Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
George Carlin