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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
City
Goddamn
Fight
Heresy
Stupid
Hall
Cities
Anarchy
Sure
Halls
Fighting
Comedian
People
Genuine
Blow

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The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
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In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.
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No comment is a comment.
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I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.
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I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences.
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How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes.
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Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.
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If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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Two things happened. The creative side of my career was harmed. When I'd sit down and write under the influence of coke, the ratio of pages kept to pages thrown out declined drastically. But onstage, when rapping about a feeling I already owned, I would sometimes get a burst of eloquence.
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At best, God can be viewed as nothing more than an uncaring incompetent father-figure
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Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)
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That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
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There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.
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When I listen to those tapes now, the real cocaine shows there's just nothing special about their content.
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