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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.
George Carlin
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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sure
Halls
Fighting
Comedian
People
Genuine
Blow
City
Goddamn
Fight
Heresy
Stupid
Hall
Cities
Anarchy
More quotes by George Carlin
Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
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Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
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I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.
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I should think it takes a fairly low intellect to draw pleasure from the following activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick. and then walking after it! An then ..hitting it again!
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Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in my case the deliverer of material - is, Don't you see it, don't you see how badly you're doing? It's like shaking a child - which you're not supposed to do.
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There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.
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The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.
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Soft rock music isn’t rock, and it ain’t music. It’s just soft.
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I'm not collegial, I don't hang out. I'm soloist, I like my solitude, I don't really hang around with comedians.
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The mayfly lives only one day. And sometimes it rains.
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To me, smoking pot meant sitting with a newspaper on my legs, rolling the seeds down, pulling the twigs out and finally producing a perfectly cylindrical, absolutely wonderful joint that you either locked at both ends or pinched off, or pinched at one end and left open at the other.
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I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.
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My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.
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Do you know the nicest thing about looking at pictures of a 1950's baseball park? The only people wearing baseball caps are the players.
George Carlin
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
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I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes
George Carlin
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
George Carlin
My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.
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Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.
George Carlin
