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You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

George Carlin

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George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sure
Halls
Fighting
Comedian
People
Genuine
Blow
City
Goddamn
Fight
Heresy
Stupid
Hall
Cities
Anarchy

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So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.
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Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
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The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.
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I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.
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Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.
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Environmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
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If all our national holidays were observed on Wednesdays, we could wind up with nine-day weekends.
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They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.
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I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
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In the doggie dictionary, under bow wow it says, See arf arf.
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Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
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People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
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I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.
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And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?
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The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned something very wise that I can’t quite remember.
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Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.
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