Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
George Carlin
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Stupid
Sports
Common
Funny
Sense
Drowning
Keep
Swimming
Way
Sport
People
Humor
More quotes by George Carlin
No comment is a comment.
George Carlin
People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.
George Carlin
Why do they bother saying raw sewage? Do some people actually cook that stuff?
George Carlin
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
Art, music, and philosophy are merely poignant examples of what we might have been had not the priests and traders gotten hold of us.
George Carlin
Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.
George Carlin
With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.
George Carlin
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like generally, it's an inconvenience.
George Carlin
More people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason.
George Carlin
When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.
George Carlin
God bless the homicidal maniacs. They make life worthwhile.
George Carlin
There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.
George Carlin
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
George Carlin
If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?
George Carlin
All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.
George Carlin
What occurs as you age is an accumulation of information, data, knowledge, and what I'm going to call the matrix of the mind. There's just a rich, textured, field of information and impressions that have been all networked by the brain.
George Carlin
Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George Carlin
I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis.
George Carlin
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
