Quote

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

George Carlin

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

George Carlin
Age: 71 †
Born: 1937
Born: May 12
Died: 2008
Died: June 22
Actor
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Producer
Humorist
Journalist
Manufacturer
Radio Personality
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
New York City
New York
George Denis Patrick Carlin
Sports
Common
Funny
Sense
Drowning
Keep
Swimming
Way
Sport
People
Humor
Stupid

More quotes by George Carlin

Image
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George Carlin
Image
Comedy is a socially acceptable form of hostility and aggression. That is what comics do, stand the world upside down.
George Carlin
Image
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
George Carlin
Image
If this is the best God can do, I'm not impressed.
George Carlin
Image
By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.
George Carlin
Image
When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.
George Carlin
Image
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
George Carlin
Image
I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George Carlin
Image
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.
George Carlin
Image
Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?
George Carlin
Image
Dogs and cats get put to sleep hogs and cows get slaughtered.
George Carlin
Image
The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
George Carlin
Image
The Class Clown album was done totally sober. I'd realized what a hell I'd made for myself and I cleaned up completely for three months. You can hear the clarity of my thinking and of my speech on that album.
George Carlin
Image
When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.
George Carlin
Image
Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.
George Carlin
Image
Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.
George Carlin
Image
Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.
George Carlin
Image
I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.
George Carlin
Image
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
George Carlin
Image
I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.
George Carlin